stable but not pod

it’s gonna be big, huge - ep53

WHAT IS UP THOTTIES! 🥂 We are finally back (oops, sorry) and so so glad you have stuck with us. We use this episode as a catch up. What's up, how ya been? We bring a lot of big, HUGE life updates and don't worry - we won't be gone as long again because we are trying to get our lives together by actually scheduling some bulk erecting days 🤦🏼‍♀️ Kelsey shares her life updates, ranging in a LOT of different emotions 🙃 and Melissa shares some HUUUUGE news 👶🏽 and we are just over the moon.... is 28 going to be our best year yet???!!! Guess you will just have to stay tuned to find out! See you next week ✨

uninsured & unwell - ep52

THOTTTIESSSSS, we’ve missed you! Kelsey is distraught as homeboy is "cross country" in Europe and Melissa finds peace in hearing about murders??? Hurricane Idris, Adelaide or whatever the heck she wants to be called made landfall but on a serious note, we are sending our prayers to every single person/family that has been affected by the hurricane. Kelsey needs glasses?? 🤓 Welcome to 28, girlie pop! 🥂 we’re still looking to start a gofundme for Kelsey’s insurance needs. We’re uninsured and unwell over here and takesie backsies are NOT ALLOWED. 🚫 Kelsey’s grandmothers old southern money Charleston-esque accent brings her comfort and Melissa says that people screaming at the top of their lungs in a northern accent is what calms her down 🤦‍♀️ Melissa has an ick but ends up being one big contradiction. Football season is here 🏈 and here comes the loudest dawg in Georgia aka KELSEY! The Icks are ick’n and Joey damn sure went to Joe. We promise we’re going to become more consistent ☀️ talk to you next week, thottie hotties 💋 

hackin’ & wheezing’ - ep51

Thotties we are thottin this week 🥴 The heat is triggering us, people who love this weather trigger us, and being exhausted triggers us 😡 Invest. In. Your. Beds. Guys!!!! Or if you’re Kelsey and homeboy, just invest in a sleep number and call it a day. Are you guys on Melissa’s side and will be brutally honest with your friends or are you going to ✨ listen ✨ and support them? Kelsey has been planning on perfecting her acoustics in the bathroom for years and you know what???? If Melissa doesn’t believe in her, homeboy sure will 😂 Both of us girlies don’t over plan our outfits so to speak, but we are definitely not two no planning girlies! Melissa’s period is late for 333 days, do you think she’s preggo guys??? We love McDonalds and Taco Bell but we also love being fit thotties and finding a balance is TOUGH. Melissa needs to stop adding things to the outline that she can’t remember 🤦‍♀️ Kelsey’s ick is Joe and then of course Joey goes to Joe as ALWAYS. See you next week! 🥂

chub launch - ep 50

THOTTIES WE’RE BACK!!! 🍾 Joe put Kelsey in a giggly mood or maybe it’s homeboy?? We’ll just go ahead and say it’s both 😛 we have homeboy and we have Franklin 🐢 and with homeboy, Kelsey wants everyone to STOP 🛑 swiping up ok??? Anyone who picks up Melissa with pizza is a winner in her book and homeboy definitely passed the test 💪 Kelsey’s allergy to DAWN has come back with vengeance and it’s a pain in all our sides tbh. The girlies speak on the latest tiktok trend of  #GirlDinner and Melissa came to the realization she comes from an almond mom 🤦‍♀️ anyone else relate??? Kelsey is back in her ✨ book era ✨ and we go back and forth on being a kindle girlie or physical copy girlie and we’re in the middle. Joey thought he could be Simone Biles herself which made him JOE this week *tune into instagram for the video* and  homeboy has Kelsey waking up TOO early and it’s an ick. Smell ya next time 🥂

smitten kitten - ep49

Starting off unstable this week with Melissa doing Kelsey’s job 😂 I mean we can’t even get to check ins without random questions to kick things off - so thotties, what kind of fruit do you like? Are you berry bitches or are you sticking with stone fruits? We love Kelsey’s smitten vibes, is it finally her lover girl era??? 😍 We take a moment to discuss the hard parts that come with grief; we’re keeping Melissa and her family in our prayers this week. As for this weeks pop culture… all we have to say is do better 🙄 you’d really think that Kelsey was paid by Pluckers with how much she talks about it, surely there will be a whole podcast episode in the future about their trip to Pluckers, I mean Texas 🤪 As adults we have come the conclusion that there are just NOT enough hours in the day, and when the vibes are off it’s even worse, but we will get through it, we are ✨survivors✨ after all AND BE SURE TO INVEST IN YOUR PEOPLE 👏🏻 Double icks from homeboy this week and we know Kelsey is STRUGGLING 🥵 of course Joey to Joe will have everyone sayin g "Dammit Joe" with us! Lastly, here’s a voicemail from PopPop, rest easy 💙

pish posh - ep48

While Kelsey may have shown up ✨ slightly ✨ on time to record, she did not show up caffeinated and she’ll tell you aaaallll about it 😉 but seriously, coffee is life and if you know you know. We don’t settle for gas station coffee in the booty room 🛑 but is homeboy going to make Kelsey a tea drinker??? Stay tuned because Melissa is worriED. Melissa is popping bottles whether it’s on an airplane or in her house 😂 we hear some pretty controversial opinions on a hot topic from the girlies but are we surprised that they’re controversial??? We love Kelsey’s attempt at being a list girlie despite her life still being chaotic, her words not ours 😂 coming from Kelsey’s favorite podcast, we are full of literal shits and giggles as we do the SPRITE CHALLENGE and SUFFER the rest of the episode with our flatulence 💨 

we’re being toxicity - ep47

**TW suicide/SA** We’re starting off hot and heavy after a *much* needed week off describing how Kelsey was toxic for her birthday and how Melissa is a baby when it comes to shots 🙈 we’re gossip girl Stans and haters even if homeboy and Joey don’t understand! Is Kelsey in love??? Maybe not but Melissa is with this situation and we’re here for it 😆 hearing Kelsey swoon over her new boo makes Melissa just so happy for her bestie 😍 Mulan and Belle talk about how things should be ILLEGAL in Mulan’s perspective and no she will not elaborate. Twin beds are ILLEGAL and we stand by that! Kelsey has some toxic tingsss to get us through the week so side note, full judgement 😈 Melissa fully judges all bodily functions and she won’t apologize for it! Cheers, thotties 🥂

champagne problems - ep46

Prosecco bottles aren’t for Melissa and you can clearly hear that in the first 15 seconds of this episode 🫠 Joe tried DECEIVING the perfect calendar Melissa has placed in her life, which track since he is always problem! Kelsey is fully committing to hard launching bae down the line, and we’re kinda here for it?? 👀mTHIS DAMN SUBMARINE has us in a choke hold with asking why???? How???? Again—WHY??? We’re ending the Scandoval series with our last huge ICK towards the worm with a mustache 🤢 Do you remember your first kiss??? Whether it was pre-k or 6th grade, the thotties have a hilarious story for both 😂 pop some bottles, thotties 🥂

that’s on growth - ep45

Raise your hand if you’re a girlie with stomach issues 🙋🏼‍♀️ we’re delusional and long winded with this episode as we start with our intrusive thoughts on wanting Taco Bell and what our orders entail. Joey D and Melissa have a new adventure they are embarking on and Melissa is slightly stressed but excited! Stay tuned for all the updates on that 😜 Kelsey and Melissa have battled this battle for the last couple years but we are SIDE 👏🏻 PART 👏🏻 GIRLIES 👏🏻 and we will live and die on this hill. We talk hot topics as we discuss what era we could go back and visit. We talk about parenting styles, our own experiences and what we wish to do in our future. Kelsey’s ick confuses us all at first and then we learn Kelsey prefers rotweillers and Joey went to Joe makING ALL OF US shake our heads..#gratuity #gstax 🤦🏼‍♀️ Be back next week ya thotties 🥂

mowing the lawn - ep44

We are absolutely not stable this week coming off of Kelsey’s birthday and it tracks. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR GEMINI QUEEN!!! We love our Kelsey and we are so glad she was born—gemini or not 😂 Buffets are not a thing for the girlies and that’s just that. We both have equal icks when it comes to the consumers and workers in the service industry 😂 when it comes to mowing our own lawns, Kelsey and Melissa are very firm on their beliefs and ain’t no man gonna tell us any different 👊 We don’t have a thotties with thots but we do have a THOTTIE WITH A THOUGHT and we are both CoHo Stans in this booty room. Melissa is salty that everyone in her life (except Kelsey) is MARRIED—she’s trying to be a THOT at a wedding and buss it down thotiana style. Melissa proves that she is the ✨ ultimate✨ best friend and knowing 99% of what Kelsey wants for her wedding so dear future Mr. Breitling, we got it covered!!! Ending on such a high note of how special a girl gang and even an community it is to have around you helps push you through all the hard times in life ❤️ We switch it up this week with Melissa having an ick and Joey went to Joe for Kelsey…nevertheless, hilarious 😂 see you next week thotties!!!